This isn’t Hef’s place, sisters.
Sin II: wearing white after Sukkot.
Doctor Alfred shouldn’t be surprised— the newspapers are all over America’s obesity problems, so when you remove a lard deposit from a patient, you can expect something to show up in the editorial section.
* Wait, Doctor Who?
Toyota’s new (and rather literal) branding effort needs some help with scale.
A Toyota? Toyota!
We never should have adopted this God forsaken currency!
So’s his lady…
T.S. will always be a star in French Canada…
* Mange une peche?
…in your shoe.
* This has nothing to do with your novel, Ed, cicadas are everywhere!
Is it? Don’t be so Saussure of yourself.
So many more love-chemicals in the air when it’s your special lady’s special day! And it’s true: we all need more HP.
Yenolab wishes the happiest of happinesses to our #1 supporter on Packard Avenue!
And there’s a threshing machine!
* Lisa loves a farm.
We are so behind schedule.
Geez, lay off the Mormons!
*They’re called Temple Garments.
We refute Doctor Eno’s suggestion that Buffalo Bill might have lived a healthier and more stress-free life had he not always insisted upon picking up the take out himself.
* Don’t try to bring him that bison burger if you know what’s good for you.
A man, a plan…
I left My heart in San Francisco, but most of My torso is in Egypt.
A mysterious quote attributed to The Alamo Malaprop— once known as the most notorious misuser of language in the West.
…Nash assigned to him for his report on twentieth century poets.
* And I must say, he could have done a lot worse.
During an early brainstorming session to choose the Cosmos’ mascot, Pelé suggests that his favorite animal ought to represent the team. Management, however, is not interested.
* Barely concealing his disappointment.
Say goodbye to the old me - this kitty has reformed!
Interpreting this dress code is mucho tricky, mi amor! Let’s say no to jeans, yes to short-tailed weasel bits.
April showers bring spring fashion, y’all!
The US Government is regulating your chi rejuvenation, Warren.
When the doctor goes for a pint, it’s not beer he’s after.
My cousin does NOT know his geography.
* He has a lot on his plate, though.
We have 2 weeks to decide whether this pit will serve us as we serve Satan.
I don’t know… I’m still kind of rooting for the guy in the potato sack.
(But not in that order, Ms. Nicks.)
An unlikely collaboration co-produced by Bird Man and Man Ray.
Sans it stays. Yats! ‘Tis nas[ty].
Jeeves, this dish is delectable, what did you say it was called?
He will rue the day he confused us with quinoa!
These grits caused quite a stir. (Stir grits.)
Reprinted with permission from An April Fools’ Alphabet, by John Aubrey, 1686.*
Those Mormons have no use for high society.
The real name doesn’t matter when you’re so blue and alone, mein freund.